Category: Uncategorized

“You hold them too much”

“They are boys they need to be tough”

“You are making them Momma’s Boys”

“You say I love you a lot”

“Do y’all give everyone hugs?”

Some of my favorite quotes that have been said/asked to me concerning our boys.

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)

The Word has instructed me to love and to teach love to my children. This scripture doesn’t mean that my children won’t sin or make mistakes. It is saying that love will carry them through making mistakes in life and they will know that no matter what, the love of Christ will be with them even in the mistakes they make.

When we are diligent in teaching our children the truth, they can hide the Word in their hearts. The Truth found in God’s Word prepares our Godly sons to become Godly leaders. As parents, it is imperative that we do our best to model the Word of God for our children. Where your priorities lie so will theirs. My parents always raised my brother and I in church. This was something I didn’t understand the full significance of as a child but now do as an adult. They never allowed my brother or I to miss church or a church related event for sports. One of the greatest lessons they ever taught me. They taught me about priorities. My best childhood memories aren’t on a ball field or a basketball court, those were great memories but not my all time favorites.

They are:

Sitting in Sunday school every Sunday with the best teachers: Mrs. Janice and her daughter Carrie- they always had gummies, Mrs. Teresa- who fed us Manna from heaven (Chex mix but who knew? To me it was Manna), Mrs. Gayle and Ken- who knew all of my secrets and my parents, my grandmother- self explanatory I mean I was always her favorite student, and then my own mom- who I watched love other kids like she loved me and feed us purple ketchup. Now some of those same people are teaching my own children.

My dad taking us to church on Wednesday nights smelling like aftershave and wearing his cowboy boots.

Sitting in church together and watching the Holy Spirit work in service. Sunday nights falling asleep under the pew, those were the best naps.

Learning to love worship in song, singing, and drama. All shaped and taught to me in church.

Raising money with Mrs. Bren in the kids church for YWEA. Kids crusades. And then eventually working in children’s church teaching music under Mrs. Bren because her heart was to develop future leaders in the church. To invest into children and youth. Sometimes I would just go sit in her office and look at pictures of all the kids that had come through the ministry she was leading. Going to children’s hospital to visit kids, block parties for the community, and slowly growing into the calling God had on my life to work with youth myself one day.

Waking up to my mom singing worship songs. At times drove me nuts (I don’t do mornings well) but then became a peaceful sound that gave me security.

Nightly devotions with my whole family, memorizing scripture (in alphabetical order) don’t ask 🤣, and praying over a list of people some of whom I never knew.

And moving into the youth group and experiencing revival breakout for the first time as a teenager. Fasting for the first time on my own. Witnessing for the first time to a complete stranger. Learning why friendship in church is so vital especially as a teen. Winterfest, winter retreats, church camp, and lock-ins. All in church. All molded me and helped me grow in Christ.

We want to make sure that we are raising Godly sons to be able to live as Godly men, not merely growing up only to become older boys.

Our mud loving, tractor riding country boys have hearts that are ready and waiting for us to teach them about God. I pray that I always take their hands and instill in them a love for God that can’t be denied.

I pray that I always show them love. If that means I am making them “Momma’s Boys” then so be it. One day I pray they treat their wives with love and respect because that’s what was modeled before them. I already pray for their future wives that God lead them to women who have a heart for Christ and a family with the same Christian values to love my sons. I have that with my in laws and it’s an enormous blessing.

I don’t stand before God for how you think I raised my children or should have raised them. One day I will stand before God and answer for how I raised His children. His warriors.

“My greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something that I do, but rather someone that I raise.”- Andy Stanley

Now excuse me I’ll quit typing because a very sweet, blonde headed, two year old boy just brought me a hand full of dirt just for mommy and I need to go put it in my “pretty pot” 😍

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Dreams come in all shapes and sizes. Throughout my life I have had many dreams and they have changed as I have gone through different stages of life. I remember having dreams of becoming this amazing basketball player, the next Taylor Swift, and even the dream of becoming a mom. Another dream of mine has been coming to life right before me, but it may seem a bit odd to you.

Over the last few years I have spent plenty of time in the physical therapy clinic for rehab following strokes. Strength building was always my goal. I have always wanted to be the strong girl who can keep up with the guys.

Six months ago I had brain surgery that honestly changed my lifestyle for a bit. Recovery was hard. My head was shaved and my whole appearance changed overnight. I couldn’t workout for months due to the shunt they placed and it was hard to watch my body transform into a weaker version. Depressing most days.

I’ll never forget the night I looked in the mirror and sobbed for at least an hour. Not only did I not like what I saw in the mirror, but I also felt terrible physically. My doctor had just released me for activity and I was very excited about it until that very night.

Zach came into the bedroom as I sat on the bed silent. He asked me what was wrong. I just started crying. He calmed me down, hugged me, and said talk to me. I told him that I felt I had lost myself in this crazy journey and I was just tired of feeling weak mentally and physically. He asked me what he could do to help. What he could do to support me.

My dream from day one of physical therapy has been to have my own equipment and gym at home to rehab. After rehabilitation is complete I wanted to build my strength up once again. I told Zach my dream of having a place where I could work on a better version of myself. Not in a public gym but somewhere my kids could be and could be apart of as well. He said okay, let’s do it. I’m here snd behind you one hundred percent.

Little by little we started working towards our equipment. My father-in-law graciously gave me space in his building behind our houses and we got started.

Today, all of the pieces were there. I was so happy. No, I’m not where I want to be but I’m on my way. I will be strong again. My hair is beginning to grow out and I like to think I’m growing with it. There are tough days and I have to remind myself who made me fearfully and wonderfully just the way that I am.

If you are facing a time where you need someone to stand with you. Find that person. The one who will sacrifice to help you be the best version of you. I am so thankful that I have that.

So I go to bed tonight the happiest girl. It did not come because I got some new jewelry, shoes, a car, or whatever normal girls like. I’m happy because I have someone right next to me helping me to pursue my dream of restoration to my body. That dream is now a reality with my home gym to help me reach greater goals.

There are so many things that I am thankful for in my life, two of those being our two crazy boys. Ryan is 4 and Riley is 2. They both have their own unique personalities and add different things to our family.

I remember longing to be a mom. The miscarriage after miscarriage, fertility treatments, mounds of pregnancy tests, tears shed, and prayers prayed. Finally, getting the news of a healthy baby on the way. Having the baby I thought would be the hard part. We added another to our family unexpectedly because God wanted to show off his awesome miracle working power. I always thought getting them here would be the hardest part….boy was I wrong…

As a mom or parent you constantly question EVERY single decision you make. Zach and I had to make one of those decisions this week. School. Ryan was set to go to a local school, but two days before his start date we pulled him out. We had been praying and just did not feel at peace about it. I began the search for a new school and prayed that God would direct us.

We found an awesome Christian private school not too far from the house that I instantly felt at peace with. Even still I went home and began questioning if I had done the right thing.

Social media is a wonderful thing but also can cause a lot of division. Parents constantly feel like they are under a microscope and wonder who might disagree with how they “do life.”

The last several years I’ve discovered that every new parenting decision we make is the “hard part”. It doesn’t get any easier. The world we live in wants to push beliefs, opinions, and every political agenda that they possibly can.

I wonder if I am overprotecting, sheltering, or being a crazy mom a lot of times. This week especially.

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4

I was praying and studying this week I felt so strongly God speak to my heart. This scripture was in my Bible study and was for me. It is my calling to help my children to walk in truth. Ryan has a love for Jesus that has encouraged me. I don’t want anyone to put that out. I’m not saying that public schools, homeschooling, or other private schools are bad. What I am saying is that it is okay to make the decision that is BEST for your family.

Our decision was for him to go to this Christian school. Some may disagree, but I don’t answer to God for some. I answer to Him for how I raise my children. The best way I can encourage them to walk in His truth.

If you are a mom, parent, or even grandparent raising children don’t be discouraged by others. Pray about your decisions and walk in peace as God directs you in each decision. Don’t let others get in the way of how you feel that you should parent your children.

Parenting is hard. Decisions that will effect their lives at times seem impossible. Be encouraged, you are doing your best. Cover them in prayer every day and allow God to lead you. He will carry us all through this crazy journey called parenthood.

The last month has been our summer worship series with our youth group at church. The most recent study was on, “Another in the fire”-Hillsong.

This song has so many powerful lyrics to study but there are two lines that really speak to me personally.

“I’ll count the joy come every battle, cause I now that’s where you’ll be”

We discussed how hard it can be to find joy in the journey at times. Job was a great man of God who was also considerably well off financially. He did nothing to deserve losing everything, but as his faith was tested he praised God through it. He was not praising God for his circumstance, but praising Him in spite of those circumstances. We make ourselves believe that we cannot be honest with God in the battles of this life. He made us with these emotions and understands grief better than we do. A huge realization for me is that you can grieve and praise God at the SAME time.

Wednesday night I had no clue what the rest of my night would hold following service. I recently had a repair to my VP Shunt tubing done a little over 2 weeks ago. Since then I have been fighting an infection with antibiotics so it’s been a tad miserable. My legs and chest started really bothering me this week and I just assumed it went along with the infection in my body. Wednesday night after getting home and in bed following church I could not hardly lie in bed because the pain was so intense. Midnight hit and Zach finally talked me into going to the ER.

The doctor confirmed the validity of the fear I had in the back of my mind. Blood clotting. I have a blood clotting disorder and am on some heavy duty blood thinners. I had to be off of these medications for surgery as I have with all of my other surgeries, but this time I was not as fortunate as the others. Blood clot in the leg that was hurting so badly and likely clots in my lungs causing the chest pain. The testing to confirm the lung clots is dangerous to me due to some allergies, but the treatment for both is the same so we opted out of the testing.

We got medications and headed back home. Out of complete honesty and transparency -in this moment my heart was broken. God did not cause this to happen, but why did He allow it? Well that is not for me to know, it is for me to live. I began praying and listening to my worship music. My prayer that I repeated many times was this:

“God, please do not let me miss the purpose you have for me in this trial and season. I don’t need to know the purpose, but lead me to fulfill it.”

I like many others get so caught up in wanting to know why. What I have come to learn is that we do not get to always know why we go through things immediately or at times ever. That does not take away the purpose. Pain is not a punishment.

Romans 8:18- “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Pain has taught me many things that I never would have otherwise considered and scripture has revealed itself to me in ways I would have never understood fully.

Perseverance leads to completeness. There are so many days that I feel like giving up, but the grace of God has enabled me to do things that I could not do in the natural.

Psalm 23:4 “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”

Pain leads to maturity. This one is a hard one to accept at times because we think that we are so strong in the Lord, but that cannot be tested or strengthened without pain.

James 1:2-4- Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

An anointing from God that comes out of pain, suffering, crushing, and persevering is something that we cannot purchase and is necessary for your purpose. We are called to be anointed. Olives in order to produce olive oil, need to be crushed. We think that when we go through pain that there is no purpose, but with the anointing of the God there is. As we are crushed we begin to leave hand prints and footprints like we never could before because of the anointing that can only come from God that’s pouring out of us.

There will be pain and suffering, it is inevitable. The Bible does not promise that there will not be pain, it promises that we will overcome. It promises we will fulfill purpose if we abide in Him. His grace is made perfect in your weakness.

Having a person to rely on, make you laugh, finish your sentence, and read your mind is quite a gift. They may not be related to you by blood, but are closer than much of your family. In my life I have not always appreciated this priceless gift. Most do not have someone like this in their life and I am fortunate enough to have two of them.

My best friends are more like sisters.

I don’t say enough how thankful I am for you girls. Crying is my least favorite thing to do because I hate showing my vulnerability. Right now tears are rolling down my face because I’m overwhelmed with a heart full of gratitude. Today I had yet another reminder of this.

No matter where I am in life you are there to support me, pray with me, and be there for me. Sometimes it’s talking while doing dishes, playing with crazy toddlers just so we could chat and be together, laughing in the car on a road trip or just a grocery trip, holding each other up when it seems impossible to stand on our own, and supporting one another through the uncertainties of life. We have cried through the losses of children, rejoiced in the new lives God has given us, and celebrated as we have all married wonderful men of God. You have been mothers to my children when my body was not physically strong enough to do so and I can’t wait to return the same love to your children.

You are part of my family and I feel I am apart of yours. We each inherited another set of parents and grandparents because we didn’t give them any other choice.

We are very different but at the same time so similar. Laughing at our own jokes, picking on our husbands, and conspiring how we will talk them into going on our next adventure are just a few of our favorite things.

Trust isn’t something that I have for many people but you have my complete trust. You know my deepest scars and my greatest achievements.

We have gone from kids who didn’t have a clue about life to adults who are still learning lessons every single day. Thank you for showing me grace as I’ve made mistakes and loving me at times when I didn’t love myself. Thank you for singing at the top of your lungs when I get a song stuck in my head. Thank you for putting up with my mess. You have held my hand when I couldn’t feel many parts of my body, pulled my hair back to keep from getting throw up in it, and helped me find accessories to make me feel better about myself when I had to shave my head for surgery.

Thank you for tolerating my crazy. You have wrapped your arms around me and let me cry or rant about trials I’ve faced more times than I’d like. I don’t have to explain to you what’s wrong, most of the time you know by the tone of my voice or look on my face. You have reminded me that I am strong enough to endure when I want to give up.

I don’t have to worry about bitterness, jealously, or deceit with you because our friendship is real and genuine. We pray for one another to succeed and surpass any hopes each one has. You are the friend who has given me hope, helped me continue, showed me who I have the potential to be, and stood by my side as I regained my sense of self after falling down.

Thank you for being exactly who you are because that is who I need. You are so much more than a best friend to me and I will never take that for granted. God has given me such gifts in you. I’m so thankful our paths crossed many years ago and we have stuck it out arm in arm every step of the way. Thank you for choosing me, staying with me, and never walking away.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Another day. Always full of work, playtime, and looking forward to our heads hitting the pillows the end of the night….parents of toddlers here.

I have been having many issues in my abdomen caused from the shunt tubing. One surgery three weeks ago ended with my appendix being removed. We were hoping that would help until I could have the tubing shortened. An appointment at any doctors office is hard to get but especially at a neurosurgeons office.

Around 9 pm I started having very sharp pains that ran from my head down my neck. They felt like electrical shocks. I’ve had similar pains like this and figured like previous times, these too would fade away. Zach told me to go rest snd he would take care of putting the boys to bed.

The pain didn’t stop and I became sick from the pain. Finally, he asked if it was time yet. Being completely honest, I said yes but I don’t want to go. Pain is funny sometimes. It will trick you into thinking you are strong enough to endure and in the next breath bring down every hope of outlasting it. We made the ride to the hospital.

The doctors confirmed what we already knew. I need my tubing shortened. Nothing else new to add, just the same issue dressed in a different outfit this time.

The doctor asked if I felt my pain could be controlled at home or if I’d be more comfortable staying. I of course chose to go home. They gave me iv fluids, meds, and pain meds. I was comfortable for the first time in hours.

The time at this point was very early in the morning. I looked over at my husband and realized he had his work clothes on. He had gotten dressed to go the hospital, knowing he would be up the entire night, and was prepared to go to work. My heart was taught another lesson about marriage. Even in a fire you have to keep moving on, pressing forward, and refuse to let the flames consume you. We were on our way home an hour before Zach normally leaves for work. I looked in the backseat and there sat his boots.

His boots looked worn, ragged, and covered in a dust/chemical he uses at work. I asked him if he was going to try to go to work. The answer was what I already knew, well yes I need to babe. No sleep. No rest. Taking care of a sick wife. All of these things didn’t seem to bother him. He never complained about one bit of it. There was no hesitation or consideration of settling for not giving his all.

What is my point in all of this? Ladies, don’t settle. I knew I would never marry someone just like my daddy but I wanted to get as close as possible. These trials we have faced have been hard on us both, our family, and even our marriage. If you don’t have a firm foundation, then these things will ruin your house. I’m thankful that God blessed me with a dad to base standards upon, and a husband that also strives to live by those same standards. The Word of God, hard work, and unconditional love.

There may been yellow dust on his soiled boots at the end of the day, but each morning he is always ready to wipe them off and start again. We as followers of Christ tend to do the same thing. We have hard days but giving up shouldn’t be an option. We must shake off the dust and move on with our boots tied.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with neurologist following my release from the surgeon. My surgery with my pelvic doctor is on Wednesday so I needed to see him before that. Due to some major sinus pressure my shunt had been really hurting. He decided to give me a steroid shot, fluid reducer, and headache reducer shot. Everything was great when I left the office. I was upbeat and so was he.

On the way home I needed to make some stops for our youth lock in on this upcoming friday. Ladies, I love a good dollar tree. Glow stick central right there. It’s a youth pastors best budget friendly friend. As I was walking, I did not even think about what shirt I had on, it says Jehova Rapha #healer.

An elderly man stopped me and read my shirt aloud. He said do you believe you have the gift of healing? I said no sir I have received healing because I believe I know the healer and I have a direct line to him. He said my back is hurting very badly and I am on my way to sit in the car and wait on my wife, would you pray for me? Why of course I would be honored. I never asked his name and in my prayer I said God knows him, his very being, the number of hairs on his head, and exactly the touch that he needs in his life. He has stepped out on faith and believes you can heal him, now Lord he is going to walk in that healing.

He thanked me and then said praise the Lord and raised his hands. At this point, I started not feeling well. My hands were going numb, I was itching, and my heart was racing. I knew I was starting to have a reaction to my shots. The enemy found a way to try and belittle my faith in serving a healing God. You see, the enemy has no power over me and the victory has already been won. You best get ready as your faith increases, the enemy’s desperation increases. I got in line to check out and this sweet man walks up with his wife, and they both thank me for praying with him and with the biggest smiles on their faces say he doesn’t have anymore pain. He hasn’t had a moment without back pain in months. As I’m struggling with my body inside I instantly knew that the enemy was trying to bring doubt into my mind. It was his only form of attack at this point. He wanted me to question the power of God.

We checked out and said our goodbyes. I drove to my favorite loaded tea nutrition bar. As I was picking up my drinks I nearly passed out. My mother in law and mom came to my rescue. My mom took me to the doctor for some Benadryl shots. After the meds kicked in, I began feeling so much better. Later in the evening I was even able to go to my baby boys last tball game.

I am saying all of this to say, just because you have faith it doesn’t mean the enemy will not attack you. It means that the attacks will get stronger.

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

If we are not prepared we will be devoured by the enemy. We have to put on the full armor of God and walk in victory!

We can call upon Jehovah-Rapha today to heal us of our physical ailments and to provide redemption for our sins. Through the power of the blood of the Great Physician – Jesus Christ –, we can rise from our old sinful life as new creations in eternal fellowship with God.

As the Israelites were cleansed of their bitter hearts and resentment at the river Mahra, so we can ask God to examine our hearts and cleanse them of bitterness, pride, and other afflictions of the heart that are rooted in sin Psalm 51:10.

I pray that if you have any attacks on you today that you walk in the victory of Jesus our Jehova Rapha- healer. Things will not be perfect, just know that the attacks of the enemy are his desperation and you already have the victory!

It’s has been a little while since I have written an update and to be completely transparent, life has just been flat out busy. Two weeks ago I returned to my neurosurgeon for my two month follow up and cat scan. The doctor said everything looked great and released me from his care. I have been having pain in my lower abdomen since the surgery and we were afraid that the catheter from the shunt was causing issues with being too long. My doctor did not believe this was the issue, but did think that the catheter could have flared up my endometriosis and other parts of my body. He told me that I needed to re-visit my OB or Pelvic specialist. Yesterday, I had my second appointment with my OB/ Pelvic specialist. There is free fluid all around the areas where I am hurting as well as a great deal of scar tissue. These issues are coming from damage caused by the catheter and my body not absorbing the fluid that the shunt is draining from my brain. Yeah….so he gave me a few injections to help with the pain around my pelvic area and we are setting up surgery for fluid, scar tissue, and endometriosis removal.

My doctor is the best of the best and I have complete trust in his judgement. My pelvic doctor and OB are in the same office and ultimately put their trust in Jesus Christ. They pray with me before any serious decision is made, surgery is performed, or just because it is what God put on their heart to do. This my friends is a priceless gift.

Since being released a few weeks ago from my surgeon I have placed a great deal of importance on getting my body back in shape. I want to be able to fight anything that may come against me. The first question I had about surgery was, “when can I workout again after surgery?” That may sound like a silly question when considering surgery, but it has become something of great importance in my life.

We are doing a wonderful study with our teens in our youth group based on the book, The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. This is my third time to use this study, but each time I have learned something new. As Christians, we cannot put on the armor of God and expect to be successful if we do not have a strong core. Doctors have told me that due to the fact I have been active in my life previous to my strokes, it has given me a much better recovery. I do not want any attack to come against my body and my body not be prepared to fight, just as I do not want any spiritual attack to come against my spiritual body and not be prepared. Studying scripture, worship, prayer, and serving God has been an easy thing for me to focus on. I did not have to get off the couch to read, study, or pray. As I began reading this study though, it reminded me that I physically need a strong core as well. I truly believe that God wants us to do whatever possible to live a clean and healthy life, and when our body is attacked He will give us more strength to survive the obstacles that life brings our way.

I am now on my third week of being back in a workout routine. Along with working out, I have made dietary changes and added more natural supplements into my daily routine. My energy levels have increased and overall I feel better, but it is not always easy to stick with the program. This morning for instance, I got my workout video going and was half way through my routine when wreck it Riley came over beside me. I love when the boys workout with me, it makes them feel good and gives me a great encouragement. Their attentions spans do not last for long as you could imagine in toddlers. Ryan does well and keeps the routine, but Riley gets frustrated and then just wants to get on my back while I complete the workout.

As I worked out this morning, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to an analogy that I had never thought of before. In life we face many obstacles, trials, and paths. There are days when it is easy to walk the path and then other days it is like we have a toddler on our back fighting us the entire way. I can’t stop my workout every time I get climbed on or ridden like a horse. If I did then I would never complete an entire workout. Just as in our spiritual lives, we cannot stop pressing into our relationship with God every time an obstacle comes our way. The steps that are normally easy, may be like walking in mud some days, but at the end your muscles gained a little extra strength.

I pray that in whatever situation in your life that feels like a toddler climbing on your back that you keep pushing on to victory. Your victory has already been won by the blood of Jesus, but you have to put in the work to receive the gift He has for you in this season.

This past weekend we celebrated the resurrection of Jesus. My kiddos loved everything about it and were so excited!Saturday evening we were having dinner with my in-laws and I decided to make a blueberry pound cake.

I have been wanting to bake one for longer than I can even remember. My Aunt Pat always had blueberry pound cake at her house. Not only did she make the best blueberry cake, but her house was filled with beautiful blue willow dishes. She would serve that cake on the blue plates that I absolutely loved. She probably didn’t realize how much those times of sitting in her house eating cake meant to me.

Heaven gained a piano playing baker unexpectedly in 2019. I remember getting the call that she had a stroke and was not going to make it. My heart was broken. I’ll never forget that moment. My first stroke was in 2019 and I felt sick to my stomach that another family member was attacked by this. While thinking about her and praying for my entire family the craziest thing happened.

I could smell blueberry pound cake. No joke. There was not a cake being baked. I felt like it was a way of God giving me peace that she was baking in her new healthy body and probably cheating someone while playing skip bo. She could play piano with the best of them and always kept me laughing anytime she was around.

Months later I was blessed to be able to purchase two of her blue willow serving platters. I knew I wanted to serve blueberry cake from these platters. Well the weekend of Easter I got to do just that. It did not compare to hers but it was still tasty. I made a sugar free version for my father-in-law and it was my first time doing so. I laughed because my Dad’s mom was always talked about for adding random ingredients to her recipes. Zach came in the kitchen and I told him, “don’t mind me I’m just being a little Evelyn.” Unfortunately I was never able to meet this sweet, short, and spunky lady but my dad always spoke of her and I love her cooking stories.

Normally, I am all in for Easter celebrating but was not feeling the joy I normally did. In a way I was kind of sad. That night I woke up and this thought hit me. Jesus sent his son to die for us, and I will see the two women who were on my heart again someday. What a sacrifice? What a blessing? My entire attitude changed about Easter. I’ve been raised in church so it was no new development that Jesus died and then rose again, but this reminder was so different for me.

I’m thankful that I can laugh and tell my kids how their great grandmother loved to change recipes. I have the opportunity the tell them how I got my platters and cake recipe. And lastly, I get to tell them that they will meet both of these ladies one day. If Jesus had not come to be the ultimate sacrifice then where would my hope be? I find so much peace in knowing that my Lord and Savior loved me enough to go and prepare a place for me and my brothers/sisters in Christ.

If you are struggling with hope I highly encourage you to look around and see where God has given you irreplaceable gifts. No one else can give you peace, comfort, and hope for tomorrow besides Jesus. I look forward to the day when I get to see these ladies and am thankful that their legacies live on.

This is a different entry but one my heart has felt since Easter. Thank you for reading and loving my family ❤️

In the last few weeks we have faced some very trying health battles for myself. I have had multiple spinal tap procedures among other procedures, tests, and then transferred for a brain shunt surgery. I will go into more detail at a later time because something else has been on my heart.

After being released from the hospital on a Monday I still continued to struggle with head pain and constant nausea. On Thursday I began losing my sight once again and throwing up even while laying in bed. My doctor instructed us to immediately come to the ER so we did. I honestly expected them to say this is normal we are going to give you this medication to help with pain and nausea. Ct scan, X-rays, and labs were done pretty soon after I got there to check on my shunt. No sooner than they got me wheeled into my room the doctor from the emergency department came in. Well your X-ray came back clear but your ct scan is showing an active bleed so neurosurgery will be down in just a minute. My thoughts were not profound, wise, or even well thought out. All I could say was, “you have got to be kidding me? Is this for real? Of course it is.” (Input self pity here)

The neurosurgeon came in and talked to us for what felt like an eternity. He spoke words but I still didn’t know how to process them. Then, he got to the point of his talk where he says I think you will make it tonight and surgery won’t be needed until in the morning. Wait….what??? You really thought I was in that much danger to possibly no make it through the night? I had an odd response in the time because this made me literally laugh, a response he had obviously not seen much. He was still pale white.

After he walked out, reality set in. I turned to Zach and just started crying. I wasn’t scared at that point. I was frustrated and just flat physically and mentally exhausted. Throughout the night I continued to process and think about what all had occurred in the last several hours. One thought kept coming to mind whether out of fear or disbelief and it made me want to stay awake as long as I could.

Will I have the chance tomorrow?

To teach my kids to love like Jesus. Will I be able to show them how to live their lives out loud for the Lord? To be a holy and pleasing example of Christ. Have I been enough of an example to teach them the most important thing to me?

To always live my life in pursuit of Christ, passionately loving Him, trusting Him and his timing, and obeying Him even when it isn’t the easy choice.

What I’ve learned in this past week is that my day will come. We are not promised tomorrow. No matter if it is while my children are in my house or my great grandchildren. I look forward to that day but I do pray that it’s more toward the latter of the last sentence.

I will continue daily to work to teach my children right from wrong, how to serve the Lord, share the gospel, to love others, respect their elders, good manners, kindness, how to clean house, shoot a basketball, tie their shoes, honesty, dependability, and even how to catch a fish. There will be times that I will fail as will my children and husband. I pray that I show them what confession looks like when I do fall short, and give them forgiveness because I know how deeply I have been forgiven.

Should I not see tomorrow I pray that my children remember my love of worship and how I used it to fight the enemy’s lies that came against me. I want them to remember reading our Bibles together even if it was their toddler “my first Bible” that I read to them. I want them to remember the prayer lists that we made and prayed over together.

While in the hospital I listened to a sermon that was meant for me right in that moment. It was the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen the one thing that was necessary: sitting at His feet, listening to His Word (Luke 10:38-42)

I can be a busy mom always getting my kids places, cleaning house, and living a semi normal “mom” life, all the while missing the entire point. To sit at His feet and listen to His Word.

We still have today. We may have many days. We may not. If you were not to wake up tomorrow, what will your children or grandchildren remember? Your choices today form that memory.

Choose wisely. Choose Jesus.